FULL TEXT: Gorsuch Ruling on ‘U.S. VS Food, Air, Water’

Don’t be fooled by the milquetoast, Kenny-G calm of Mr. Silver Fox Neil Gorsuch. President Trump’s Supreme Court nominee may look like a law-abiding Boy Scout on the outside, but on the inside he’s a hostile, felon-loving, child-hating, anti-education, pro-corporation monster. I’ll just state the facts: Gorsuch is Hitler.

Just ask 15-term Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi, (D-San Fran.), as she so eloquently articulated during a recent CNN town hall when asked about Trump’s Gorsuch appointment:

“As far as your family is concerned, if you breath air, drink water, eat food, take medicine, or in any other way interact with the courts, this is a very bad decision.”

She’s not lying. (She would never do that.) Read for yourself the full text of Gorsuch’s majority opinion in the landmark case “United States Versus Food, Air, Water,” which made it illegal for U.S. citizens to consume food, air, and water, and which the conservative mainstream media DOES NOT WANT YOU TO SEE:

With all due respect to food, air, and water, useful though they may be to the needy among us (the overweight, the weak, colored folks, et cetera—and definitely illegals, too), the almightily Constitution of the United States does not, I think, make any distinction of these commodities being either “needs” or “luxuries.” Which means obviously that they’re the latter, and ought be controlled by entities which pay the most taxes and vote straight ticket Republican. Oorah!

Every true man has pride in his water, his air, his food…particularly when one is boiled with barley malt, one smells of gunpowder, and the third is bloody, of a prime cut, and cooked outside on the open grill with the wife in a bikini on a hot summer night under a the all-American glow of a neon-blue bug zapper.

Good food, good air, and good water are privileges, not rights. One’s access to these privileges depends on a few basic factors:

  1. How frequent is his wont to hear the the melody of his National Anthem?
  2. How dark in shade is his skin color?
  3. How dark in shade is his beer color?
  4. How high ought the wall between us and Mexico reach?

If the answers are twice daily, linen or lighter, amber waves of grain, and it just got 10 feet higher, respectively, then let them bath in the river of American liberty.

It was said in dissent that America does not discriminate against those who eat, drink, and breath, but prescribes a rule applicable to breathers and non-breathers alike. This is probably true. I don’t really know. Couldn’t say one way or the other, truth be told. Is there legal precedence for equality under the law? Bring me a Bud Lime and I’ll think it over some.

People who receive government handouts, whether of welfare and cell phones (#thanksObama) or air and water (#thanksVermont), ought to be ashamed of themselves. Let’s be serious. It’s not like anybody has died from a lack of air/water/food—at least not anybody whose death mattered. Like Mufasa. Or Old Yeller. Or Oberyn Martell. LAWD WHY!?!?!?!

I respectfully assent. #provemewrong

Signed: Judge Neil Gorsuch, November 17, 2007 


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